Humor
"We aren't a glum lot. . . we think
cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness."
Gotta joke or cartoon you wanna share? Email it to:
Webmaster@OASouthBay.org

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"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
But I can usually shut her up with cookies..."
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The Garlic Diet:
You don't lose weight, you just look thinner from a distance.
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The most fattening thing you can put in a dessert is a spoon.
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There is nothing light about cellulite.
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The obesity epidemic: OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM.
OVEREATING HAS HEAVY CONSEQUENCES.
--Daniel Worona
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I have been on a diet for two weeks, and so far I've lost
fourteen days!
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Dear God,
So far, so good. I've done very well today, and have been on my best
behavior. I haven't eaten any junk food, haven't eaten any candy or sweets,
haven't raided the refrigerator, and haven't sat around munching and
watching TV. I'm really thrilled about that!
But in a few moments, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm
probably going to need a lot more help with my diet.
Thank you. Amen.
The above borrowed from Daniel L. Worona's DIET
HUMOR website.
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Here is a funny website: Martha
Stewart Parody.
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CALORIE BURNING ACTIVITIES
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Jumping to conclusions
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100
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Swallowing your pride
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50
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Passing the buck
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150
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Pushing your luck
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250
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Wading through paperwork
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300
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Jumping on the bandwagon
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200
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Balancing the books
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25
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Running around in circles
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350
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Climbing the ladder of success
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750
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Adding fuel to the fire
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160
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Wrapping it up at the day's end
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20
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Opening a can of worms
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50
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Putting your foot in your mouth
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300
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Starting the ball rolling
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90
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Going over the edge
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450
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Picking up the pieces
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550
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Counting eggs before they hatch
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180
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Calling it quits
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2
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This person dies and shows up at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asks
"What religion are you?"
The person replies that they have never been especially religious, so
they must be in the wrong place. Saint Peter says "We don't make mistakes
up here, so we'll just take you around and see where you feel most
comfortable."
The first room they go to has lots of candles and everybody is kneeling
and praying. Saint Peter says they are Catholics. That doesn't look
comfortable to the newcomer, so they move on.
The next room has everybody intently studying beautiful, ancient
books. Saint Peter says they are Jews. That doesn't seem right
either.
But the next is full of people laughing and joking and hugging and
slapping each other on the back. Saint Peter is ask "Who are these
people?" He replies "We don't know. They won't tell
us."